Last spring I signed the boys up for a soccer program that they have for children with special needs. The program is great, they teach them soccer skills and then at the last practice they play a game with the parents. The plan originally was for Tom, my husband to go with the boys and Esther and I were going to have some girl time every week. However, Tom ended up having to work, so I had to take the boys every week and Esther had to watch the boys practice.
I thought that Esther would be upset at the thought of not being able to play, but she wasn’t. Instead, she took a self-appointed position as the team cheerleader. She would stand on the side yelling, “give me an A, give me a P, give me an R, give me an E, go Elijah and Moses”. Esther may not have been able to spell or read, but it did not put a damper in her spirit. She was doing ‘cartwheels’ and leg kicks and everything. She could have been jealous that she wasn’t the one playing or she could have called out everything the boys weren’t doing but instead she chose to cheer them on. She wasn’t calling out where they lacked but she was calling out there potential to be superstar soccer players. I love my little girls’ spirit.
If we lived in a perfect world and were surrounded by people who cheered us on, we would truly believe the sky was our limit. We wouldn’t have any inhibitions. We would truly excel in our talents and gifting. However, we do not live in a world where everyone is cheering for us, there will always be critics. It has been said many times and in many different ways, that who we surround ourselves with will determine where we go. Sometimes we can control who we are surrounded by and then sometimes we just simply can’t. We need to identify who’s voices we hear the loudest. Sometimes the line can be a bit blurry of who are critics are and who are cheerleaders are.
One thing we do know about cheerleaders is that they cheer whether their team is winning or losing. It doesn’t matter if their team has a slim chance of bouncing back, cheerleaders call out the best in their team. After-all a cheerleader has seen their team at their best and knows what they are capable of. They know their strengths and they know their weaknesses. However, they are there to cheer on the best in there team.
If you are surrounded by critics, you will only see your shortcomings and you will avoid risk at all costs. After all, risk may lead to failure and failure may reveal your own weaknesses. Your weaknesses aren’t safe with critics. Critics like to focus on other’s weaknesses and rarely get to know your strengths or appreciate your strengths. Listening to critics will evoke fear and you will tend always lean towards the safe choice or stay put. Fear will also cause you to over-analyze your decision-making abilities.
However, cheerleaders will call out the potential that you may not even see in yourself. When you feel like giving up they are the ones reaching out to you and encouraging you, telly you that you’ve got this. Find those people who see the best in you, who will pull you up when you need to be pulled up and who will even push you when you need a bit of a push. Cheerleaders will remind you of your strengths when you feel like you have failed and push you to try again.
There are many seasons where I have felt overwhelmed by critics. One particular season comes to mind where I thought that the people I had surrounded myself with wanted the best for me, that there harsh words and critiques were there to help me. That may have even been there intent but it just left me feeling small, incapable and not enough. I wanted to be teachable and take in all the feedback because I wanted to be a better me. This individual had told me I was too loud, attention-seeking and prideful. So I felt I needed to be quiet, never talk too much or joke around in case it was perceived as attention-seeking and that I needed to fade into the background to become humble. This person also had convinced me that those who cared about me most were not good for me. I had eliminated all the cheerleaders in my life and had believed the very worst about myself.
Once I realized that this person’s voice needed to be removed from life, I made drastic life choices to ensure the voices in my life were positive voices and that they were people who genuinely wanted to see me do well in life. That season of life taught me to be very careful with who you allow to influence you. That season helped me evaluate myself and recognize the areas where I was at risk of being a critic.
Regularly, I ask myself am I a critic or a cheerleader to those around me. I know which one I want to be. Cheering people on will always cost more than being a critic. It takes patience, being supportive, and being there for the long haul. Oh, but when they win, you feel like you win too. Critics don’t plan for people to succeed, they plan for people to fail. Critics hone in on every mistake. We don’t cheer for people because they are perfect but because in spite of not being perfect, people do succeed.
Maybe you don’t feel like you fit into the role of player, critic, or cheerleader. Maybe you have sitting on the bench. I want to be the one to come along you and say it’s time to get up, you got this. You have what it takes. We might even fail, but we are going to fail together until we win! Everyone has there unique part to play. If you need to sit out on the bench for a bit to catch your breath or relax, that’s ok, just don’t stay there. The world needs you and what you have to bring.