One of the questions I asked on social media was, “What do you wish people understood about Autism?”. The feedback is so insightful. As much as I enjoy hearing from parents, I found the responses from professionals in the field to be incredible. As a parent, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make the world a better place for my child. However, all the teachers and therapists we have met along the way have been so caring and passionate. When I asked the question, I assumed I would only receive feedback from parents but I was so excited to receive feedback from those who serve the Autism Community so passionately. Here are some responses from a mixture of parents and professionals.
There isn’t a specific look to Autism and words such as “they don’t look autistic” can be hurtful.
We see this in our own family. Our oldest son who’s autism is more pronounced is regularly given more patience and understanding then our other two who are not as obvious. My youngest son is an angel at school and typically they will only see his rigidity when something changes in schedule or he has to adjust quickly. This usually comes in the form of concern over the change and pointing out that that isn’t usually how it goes. However, at home, he will come home and be beside himself. He will be easily agitated from the time he gets off the bus, yelling and screaming at me, hitting me, and meltdowns all afternoon. He is also the one that gives me the most issues in the morning with getting dressed because they have to be a certain texture and look, short sleeves don’t go with pants. It isn’t winter, so you can’t wear your winter coat and it is technically summer so I should be able to wear my shorts even though it is only 55 degrees outside. You never know what each individual’s challenges are and this goes beyond Autism, so treat everyone with kindness!
Those with Autism can’t be “fixed”. We have to learn the way they see and feel things and then adapt to that.
Love this one, Autism is not something that can be fixed. One of the greatest things I have learned is how amazing and incredibly different my kids see the world. It is unfair for me to expect them to enter into my world if I am unwilling to enter theirs. The way they see things is remarkable and the way they experience the world can be intense and sometimes too intense for them. There was one incident that stands out to me and it was a moment that was an epic fail on our part. Elijah does not like Home Depot for some reason, stores are difficult for him as is but he really dislikes Home Depot. However, one day we needed to run in there and get something and we thought he would be fine once we went in despite his protests. We were wrong, Tom had to make a very quick exit carrying Elijah kicking and screaming out. He finds the store overwhelming and we cannot fix that for him but we need to respect it. Life became so much easier once we stopped expecting them to do and act how we want them too. We remain flexible because we know that is challenging for them. They give some truly beautiful gifts. My oldest, when he tells me he loves me, it means the world to me because he is easily the most honest individual you will meet. He is sometimes too honest, he says whatever he thinks as fact. My daughter tells some of the best stories, they are almost believable. I love hugs from my youngest son because when he gives them to me they are worth gold because hugging is difficult for him, physical touch can almost be painful for him due to his sensitivities. We are continually adapting to the needs of our children but they truly have also given us some of the most beautiful gifts.
I wish people knew that just because an individual with Autism isn’t looking at you or is non-verbal, they can still hear you!
100% yes! I was recently in a setting with an individual who was nonverbal and the people who were around him were talking about him as if he couldn’t hear them. My heart broke for this young man. This was in a setting where they should have known better. No communication device or pec card system was set up for Him, this made me so sad. His inability to speak was not reflective of his cognitive ability. He could hear perfectly fine and process what was being said, he just was unable to use his words.
Our oldest son has a difficult time at making eye contact and is often seen to be in his own world, however, he hears everything. If I ever doubt that he heard me, I usually hear him repeating verbatim conversations from earlier in the day, this typically happens late at night when he should be asleep. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and deserves common decency. You would never walk up to a conversation and talk about someone who is right next to you as if they aren’t there. We shouldn’t do that with anyone. My youngest son tells me all the time, “Mom, I am always listening to you, even when you don’t think I am”. As creepy as that sounds, it made me evaluate how I talk when he is around.
None of these comments are meant to condemn anyone but to inform people. Up until the ’80s, individuals with Autism went undiagnosed and were diagnosed with many other mental health issues as well as in many cases institutionalized. We have come so far in our knowledge and research. However, if you are like me, I didn’t know before my kids were diagnosed. A lot of these misconceptions were misconceptions I held as well. This is why I love April because we have the opportunity to shine a light on Autism and educate to help provide a world that is more inclusive and sees the many gifts every individual has to bring to the world whether they have Autism or not. We all have a purpose and giftings and should be able to find a place where we can be an asset to society. Autism should not be the defining factor of what an individual can contribute. Individuals are so much more than there diagnosis!